Yes, we all have certain level of fear somewhere in our mind. each individual in this earth is not perfect, we all have different problems at different phase of life.
and some times, we need support. especially we become weak when we loose our faith, when we loose our hope, when we don't have any solutions for our problems, or when situation is not in our hand.
yes, I experienced that phase after our project release on 10th August.
I wants to cook and wanted to eat something home(self) made. but I can't.
I wants to go home, also work was not here at office. but I don't have leaves. I can't.
I wants to watch some hindi-english on TV. but I can't because all are Malayalam girls wnats to see their serials at PG..
and gradually, it created frustration in my mind.
why? so? why?...why?
I tried to recall so many good books, I read, but no use. in this situation , when no team member were here. all went for vacation. my room-mate was not there.
and suddenly I started to feel very alone.(which can rarely happen to me.)
I tried phone calls, called so many times at home. talked with friends. I reached credit limit very soon this month.
but still emptiness was there.
finally, I came inside my self. I started pray. I found after saturation level, I will get something.
I did meditation, sleep deeply. just started to detached my self from this worldly world. just concentrated on pray and deep breath.
As “Paryushan” is coming. recalled home, and preparation for this festival. recalled, what ever I was used to do in this time at home.
and started the same preparation mentally. So, what if I am not at home. festival and faith for my GOD is still there in my mind., in my heart.
And I am so happy today, that, I feel so relax, and happy, and got dream about GOD and derashar today early morning. Which earlier I was always used to get so frequently.
which gave me tremendous faith in my true pray. :-)
And finally I got the conclusion about all mental fight I had gone through is:
In monsoon, without sunlight, we can become weak mentally, that's why also I think, these Paryushan, related "Tup" are there through out these 4 months. (psychology science). yes, we do fast and all in this season, because our digesting power get reduce in this season.(that I knew.)
but apart from that, pray and more involvement with GOD is also necessary in this season which can save us from our mental weakness.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Power of pray. especially in “Paryushan” (why Jain people have more focused to become religious in Monsoon).